Feeling disrespected is embarrassing, frustrating, and hurtful. This is true for most people, just as it's true that we all handle that feeling of disrespect in our own ways. If you struggle to control your anger in moments like this, then disrespect might be a specific trigger for you. Recognizing this is an important first step in effective anger management, as it's important to keep your anger in check regardless of what you're facing. Below are insightful tips for handling your anger when you feel disrespected.
How to Not Get Angry When Being Disrespected
You may be thinking, Easier said than done - and in the beginning, you may be right! Anger is often a fast, instinctive reaction in the face of insulting or disrespectful behavior. It's natural to want to defend ourselves, but sometimes that anger doesn't serve its purpose in an effective way. These tips will help you better gauge tense environments and circumstances to not only diffuse conflict but protect your mental health at the same time.
Step Away
Sometimes getting some space is the best step you can take for your mental and behavioral health. This is especially true when you’re feeling angry. The next time someone makes a disrespectful comment or action, try to excuse yourself from the situation to cool down. This could be taking a walk around the block, going into another room and closing the door, or leaving the location altogether.
If you’re in a situation where you can’t get away, like a work meeting, take a moment to think before speaking. Even a few breaths can be enough to deescalate a situation and provide much-needed clarity. You can then say something constructive in response, rather than letting your anger get the best of you and saying something in the heat of the moment that results in trouble rather than resolution.
Reframe the Situation
When someone disrespects you, it’s a reflection on them and their own character. It likely has nothing to do with you. In the moment, whether you've stepped away or are still in the same room with the person, try to reframe the situation in your mind and remind yourself that you are not at fault. In doing so, you are showing that you are the bigger and better person by not lowering yourself to that level or allowing the person to get a rise out of you.
Set Firm Boundaries
Boundaries show the people around you how you deserve - and expect - to be treated. Rather than expressing your anger, consider setting a boundary with the person who disrespected you. Simply saying, “Please don’t speak to me that way” or “I’m going to step outside for a moment” puts the control back in your hands. You can be even firmer in that control by stating, "I don't appreciate being spoken to in that tone and will be ending this conversation."
It’s true that setting boundaries is easier said than done, and it can feel awkward doing so at first. If you aren’t able to set a boundary at that moment, consider speaking with the person at another time. This way, you can calmly express your concern once you’ve had time to think and properly formulate your response without that initial flash of anger.
Talk to a Friend
If you’re dealing with a disrespectful coworker or loved one, it can be helpful to get another perspective. Consider talking to a friend about the situation. They can provide some much-needed insight, reminding you that the individual is disrespecting you because of a personal issue or fault. Your friend might also have some helpful tips for dealing with the situation based on their own experiences.
See a Counselor
If you're struggling with setting boundaries or reframing your mindset, individual counseling can be a great tool for seeing frustrating situations in a new way. Your therapist will guide you through relevant scenarios to help you reframe disrespect in a more objective light and ensure better anger management.
Out-of-control anger, though, is often a symptom of behavioral health issues. A qualified mental health counselor can help you work through your feelings and provide effective coping techniques for anger. The clinic may even recommend specialty counseling, pairing you with a therapist who focuses specifically on anger management. Group counseling can also be helpful for challenging your thought patterns and learning coping skills from others in similar situations.
Take the First Step in Anger Management
The team at SOL Mental Health is proud to offer individual and group therapy designed to offer techniques for handling your anger issues. Our counseling solutions take a holistic approach to behavioral health and may include health coaching, yoga for mental health (in Colorado), and nutritional support on top of our therapy and psychiatry services. Make managing anger an easier process for you by contacting us to schedule a consultation with one of our providers.
Does My Insurance Cover a Therapist at SOL Mental Health?
SOL Mental Health is partnered with several insurance providers to make our services more accessible to you. You can verify your insurance through our website before scheduling an appointment.
