A history of trauma can wreak havoc on many aspects of your life, from lasting PTSD to relationship difficulties. If you’re still healing from that trauma, of any kind, starting a new romantic relationship may be particularly triggering. However, this doesn't mean love is out of bounds for you. Learning to trust your partner and enjoy your relationship takes time, but it’s possible regardless of your past traumas. Here are some tips for trusting a new partner after trauma and ways you can move forward.
Take Your Time
Healing from trauma is a long process, one that takes as long as you need it to when overcoming difficult memories and emotions. Similarly, you can move at your own pace when entering a relationship. It’s okay to take it slow while you learn to trust your partner and adjust to new emotions, situations, and environments. You’re benefiting your own mental and behavioral health by moving at a pace you’re comfortable with.
Be Open with Your Partner
When you’re ready, it’s important to be open with your partner about your past trauma. Letting them in to such a personal, private part of your life can allow you to work through issues like trust or other obstacles together. At the same time, your partner can learn how to better support you and help you avoid specific triggers.
This conversation can be hard. Taking about past trauma or identifying triggers can feel embarrassing, overwhelming, or even shameful, and it might even be triggering. Know that, first and foremost, you are not to blame for your trauma, and that you deserve people in your life who want to support you. When you find that person, you don’t have to open up all at once. Start by sharing what you’re comfortable discussing, and take it from there. You can always come back to the topic again when you’re ready.
Remember Self-Care
No one can pour from an empty cup. That's why self-care is such an important step in healing from trauma - when you take care of yourself, you not only feel better internally, but also are more comfortable in your relationships. Meeting your basic needs, taking time to destress, and making space for hobbies are all part of a self-care routine. You might even establish regular spa appointments or weekly outings with friends.
Not sure where to start? Consider working with a wellness coach! They will help you build a self-care regimen that fits into your life, and your new relationship.
Forgive Yourself
The healing journey is never linear. You will likely experience challenges and setbacks as you learn to trust your new partner against the backdrop of past trauma. And that’s okay. Accept that growth comes with its own set of challenges and allow yourself grace to face those obstacles in your own way and time.
Self-forgiveness is an essential practice. If you need help reaching this step in your healing journey, consider speaking with a mental health professional. Your therapist will help you remember that your past trauma is not your fault, and encourage you to celebrate the small victories as you process your past, forgive yourself, and move forward.
See Your Therapist
Healing from trauma often requires a support team, especially when that trauma is causing difficulty in forming or keeping a relationship. Mental health counseling services will be a key resource as you start your new relationship and work through inner struggles. Through individual counseling, you will explore your past trauma and develop strategies to start trusting more. Your therapist can also refer you to psychiatry services if they think that medication may be helpful in your treatment plan.
As you and your partner start your relationship, it may be beneficial for them to see a counselor as well. Getting this type of support will help them be a more attentive and understanding partner. Plus, they can start working through any behavioral health challenges of their own.
Healing from Trauma Begins Today
SOL Mental Health is proud to offer individual counseling and other services for trauma survivors. Our team of mental health professionals provide support for trauma and PTSD of all types through individual counseling, psychiatry services, health coaching, and holistic behavioral health care.
More, we are partnered with several insurance providers to make our services more accessible to you. You can verify your insurance through our website before scheduling an appointment.
Make the most of your new relationship with our help. Reach out today to schedule a consultation for trauma counseling.
